So in this space I’ve told you how squirrels can fly, purr, and maybe even live forever. Today I learned of another special squirrel ability—apparently, like many animals, squirrels can and do masturbate, but they can also (now don’t get jealous, guys, because I know most of you have tried it) self-fellate:

“An oral masturbation was recorded when a male sat with head lowered and an erect penis in his mouth, being stimulated with both mouth (fellatio) and forepaws (masturbation), while the lower torso moved forward and backwards in thrusting motions, finally culminating in an apparent ejaculation, after which the male appeared to consume the ejaculate.”

So…yeah. Apparently, according to this article, Cape ground squirrels do this both to ward off sexually transmitted diseases and to conserve water (hey, they live in the desert! no need to waste precious body moisture on, er, bathing).

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