Sorry for the light posting lately…I’ve been going out, reading, eating, watching, listening, etc., but I also have bigger fish to fry. As many of you know (since just about all my readers are family or close friends), I plan to become a full-time freelance copy and production editor starting January 1. I really, really loved my job for a while, but then it started to depress me, particularly around annual review time. The reason why hit me this past March: This is the only “real” job I’ve ever had that I didn’t originate. In my other jobs I was starting from zero, which meant that at my annual reviews I had all sorts of progress to report and goals to set for the upcoming year. Of course, I also had a few missteps to address with my supervisors, but my trajectory was always upward–productivity increased, programs expanded, awards won, software mastered. In my current job, I just…do my job. I have nothing else to contribute to my department, which is good in a way. I like my boss and coworkers, our systems run as smoothly as possible, I have all the necessary skills to do my job well. But in three years, all I’ve added to the equation is one good copy editor and the establishment of a part-time assistant position, and both of those things happened during my first year there. Now, every time I’m faced with that self-evaluation form I feel like a loser, because I have nothing to show for the past year of work except completing tasks as assigned. So this spring, after a week of depression over that stupid form, I decided I was through. I’d rather have the uncertainty of self-employment with its potential for growth than the security of a steady but stagnant job.

Because of the nature of my job, with multiple staggered deadlines, the person who replaces me will inherit a lot of complicated, unfinished projects. So I’m giving notice this week, to allow my supervisor to figure out when would be the least inconvenient time for me to leave. It also means I’m probably going to work extra hard for the next six weeks or so, to get all my books in tip-top shape for the poor sap who comes in behind me. My big preoccupation for the next two days will be to rehearse a speech wherein I simultaneously break up with my supervisor and ask her to retain me as a freelancer. Cross your fingers for me, tiny band of readers.