Want to be in the best, most popular, richest band in the history of the world? Simply go here.

This is utterly fascinating reading, a maniacally ambitious rock ‘n’ roll cousin to the Dr. Brommer’s soap bottle. Be sure to check out the “About Me” section and the page called “March 1, 2007.” And of course The MasterPlan. Unfortunately I’m too old to apply, but if I’m lucky maybe I can get one of the Five More Slots. Let’s see, let me just read the terms according to the New Pay Option…

When I Am Done Selecting The Group Members And Am Ready To Move, The Price Is One Thousand Down, And Only Five Hundred A Month For Living Expenses. For That Option You Get To Be In The Top Group And You Each Will Get 2 Percent Of The Net Profits For The First 3 Years. Yes Thats An 80-20 Split. Then Lucky For You Guys, Its A New Contract Time. What Will You Do? Will You Be Appreciative Or Greedy? Good Luck On Your Decision.

Sounds like a square deal–where do I sign? 

Incidentally, the copy editor in me admires the consistency with which our narrator Capitalizes The First Letter Of Every Single Word He Types. There are no shortcuts on the way to the top!