Squirrel Wednesday: One Smooth Customer

Ah, the English. I can always count on them to deliver a good squirrel story, complete with Beatrix Potter details. Harriet Snookes, writing for Aylesbury Today, tells us about a bald squirrel, nicknamed Smoothie, that was recently brought in to the St. Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital for observation:

Smoothie was rescued after a lady in Amersham noticed the animal running around in her back garden. She called St Tiggywinkles and they told her to bring the creature in. She laid a trap for Smoothie and took him to the hospital in Haddenham, where he has been kept ever since.

Whole article here. Smoothie is under observation while the good people at St. Tiggy’s, as the locals call it, try to determine why the poor guy has no fluff:

It seems like the two main theories are mange or drawing the short straw in the genetics lottery.

 

Squirrel Wednesday: Are Squirrels Immortal?

Our second installment of Squirrels in the News raises an interesting existential question: if you don’t see where squirrels go to die (other than beneath a car’s wheels), does that mean they live forever? A fellow in Ontario thinks so:

Now that got me thinking about the squirrels. Where do they physically go to die? They live in trees. If they are not in a tree already, they are running toward a tree; we all know this from common observation every time we go for a walk in the park.

Now let me observe that a dead squirrel cannot cling to a tree and keep himself or herself from falling to the ground. That makes sense, too. Only live squirrels can use their little claws to stay up in a tree according to their own will. So one would think that when a squirrel dies it would fall out of the tree and land on the ground right where the tree stands. However, we never see dead squirrels lying on the ground in the park under the very trees where they spend all their lives. So where do they go to die?

I have given it some thought and I think I know the answer — they are immortal.

Rest of the article here. Alas, Walter, although that’s a nice idea, it seems our furry friends live only about three years. My guess is that scavengers like crows, dogs, or birds of prey pick up expired squirrels before you notice them littering the bases of trees.

 

I Take Requests…

My coeditor sent out a plea for squirrel lore, as he’s currently spending the week kicking back in the no-squirrel zone of Nantucket. Most news stories that came up on Google were negative (ground squirrels in San Diego have the plague, red squirrels in the UK are dying out), but here’s a cute one from Kent, Ohio: Black Squirrel to Hover Over Kent. Apparently some guy there is so taken with the black squirrels that scamper around his yard that he’s going to project an image of one, Batman-style, during this weekend’s fireworks display in his town. Thanks for showing some squirrel love, Michael Pritt! We have several black squirrels in the neighborhood here in Brooklyn, and they *are* handsome little critters. Photo below for those of you who’ve never seen one–sort of the black panther (or, um, Dark Knight) of the squirrel kingdom:

 

Huh

Now that I’ve begun using official WordPress tags, there are automatically generated links to other “possibly related” posts on other blogs. I haven’t checked out the link yet, but apparently my mosquito post below could be related somehow to a post elsewhere titled “My Neurologist Is a Sadistic Asshat.” You just know that’s gotta be a good story.

 

Perspective

For all of you (my coeditor included) who are wringing your hands over the rising price of gas, Slate offers a little reality check. Very good information. Also very easy for me to say, as I’m closing in on my 4th year of not owning a car at all.

 

On the Road Again

To the land of popped collars, loafers without socks, and G&Ts on the porch at sunset. Report to come next week.

 

Mmmkay…

I haven’t had an interesting Google in a while, but was rewarded today with a good one: “george costanza on the fainting couch.” I have no idea what this person is looking for, but I’m honored that a Seinfeld-related search led someone to me.

 

Breeders Who Want It All

A few articles have lately started me railing against my peers with children. The first, appearing in last Sunday’s Times Style section, covered the already-old news story of the ruckus caused in Park Slope about the mommies who took exception to Union Hall’s no-strollers policy. Yes, a bar and nightclub had the gall to come right out and say that babies and their bulky vehicles were not welcome. The article is no longer online, but it contained some choice quotes from self-deluding parents who basically were saying that having babies doesn’t have to mean giving up happy hour at the local pub. Um, that’s exactly what it means, at least until your banker husband starts making enough money for you guys to afford that undocumented Guatemalan nanny you’ve always wanted. Until then, babies equal a crimped or at least profoundly altered lifestyle.

Today’s Home and Garden section continues the “I have a baby but I’m still cool, REALLY” desperation with a feature that highlights the plight of rich parents trying to perserve their sharp-edged straight-from-Design-Within-Reach decorating style without hurting their pretentiously named spawn (seriously–Harrison, Beckett, Vin, and Fia?). They’re appalled that their homes might actually betray the presence or needs of children, but they grudgingly recognize that their little prodigies might slice their heads open if their shaky first steps take them in the direction of the Noguchi coffee table.

Don’t get me wrong–I like babies and am thrilled when parents who really want them welcome them into the world. I just get frustrated when people aren’t willing to recognize that everything needs to change when they take on the responsibility of parenthood. Personally, I’m not quite ready to sacrifice cool furniture and nights out, so I’m staying out of that game until I am.

 

Searching

It’s been a long time since I had any odd or interesting Google hits, but today I got “wha [sic] can i do for valentines day.” I’m not sure what (wha) this person found on my little blog, but if you’re just sending a random Google search out there, clearly you need some help. Hope I was able to provide some…

 

I’ve Been Rather Busy

But not with anything that would interest the world at large very much. I did join some friends for the First Saturday party at the Brooklyn Museum of Art over the weekend, which was fun. We browsed through the galleries and enjoyed watching people waltz to live chamber music in the Beaux-Arts Court. The other night Will and I saw There Will Be Blood; we both had mixed reactions. I’ll always have a soft spot for Daniel Day-Lewis, but overall the film was flawed. The score, for one, got on my last nerve; it was way too loud throughout, and had a sort of high-toned horror movie feel to it, which was not appropriate to the subject matter. Paul Dano, as the young evangelical minister, made a heroic effort but was ultimately unable to hold his own against someone like DD-L.

Aside from that, I’ve been busy with my two projects. I’ve finished the first stage of one and am ready to get started on the other. Self-employment is treating me well so far…